Many South African writers are faced with an immense challenge: how do you get the vast majority of young people who have come from a shocking educational system, to write understandable English? The situation is worsened by the use of the 'brief language’ of Mxit and instant messaging and the fact that English is a second and even a third language for so many of them.
The secret is in writing in simple and plain English. What does the unionist mean when he introduces his position around the bargaining table with: “Our members have articulated a desire to engage with management on the issue of the socio-economic affordability of their livelihoods”? Well, for starters it would have been much more succinct and a damn-size clearer to say: “Our members want to talk about money”.
So how do we get there? Here are five pointers to get you on the right track:
1. Write shorter sentences
Keep sentences to between 16 and 20 words. If you tend to write long sentences, then follow your instinct with you first draft. Once completed, go back to your text with one intention only: reducing sentence length. Replace ands and buts with stops to create new, short sentences.
Remove tautology and repetition. Is the attractive, beautiful, gorgeous actress not perhaps just plain beautiful? And does the child have to “draw a round circle for Mommy” or will just “a circle” do the trick? Think and write punchy.
2. Use simple words and phrases that you know well
One of problems of writing in a second language is the risk of using words that don’t mean what the writer thinks they mean. One of my former Afrikaans-speaking bosses, in a speech during a very glamorous event, begged the leadership of our industry to “come out of the closet” when he meant to challenge them to become more active and visible in the business world. The industry shall remain anonymous.
3. Tighten the wordy phrases
Why would one want to say that John attempted the Comrades marathon on two separate occasions? Doesn’t that make it twice? “She is a person who loves cats” is an insult to the poor woman – of course she is a person! “She loves cats” would have served the purpose much punchier.
4. Give attention to sequencing and order
Good writers know how to present their facts and information in a suitable and logical order rather than taking the reader on a guessing game through a labyrinth of confusion. Relate historical stories in chronological order. Share process information in the sequence of the process flow. Discuss holiday destinations in alphabetical order or in the order in which the traveller would encounter them when travelling on a specified route.
5. Choose action verbs
Be as vivid and as descriptive as you can in your selection of verbs. When a police report states that “vehicle A was driving at a high speed when it collided first with a pedestrian and then with a brick wall” it paints a rather clinical picture of what could have been quite dramatic. Here are two alternatives using descriptive action verbs:
· The black BMW careered around the sharp bend, swerving sharply across the pavement. It hit a passer-by, flinging his body across the road like a rag doll before it smashed into a solid garden wall.
· The speeding black BMW tore around the corner before striking an elderly pedestrian, instantly killing him. It finally burst through a brick wall before it came to a standstill; steam and smoke billowing from the wreck.
6. Edit before releasing
Never release a written text on an unsuspecting audience without having checked and edited it thoroughly. Find a colleague who is also a competent writer to critically look at the text as well, but this comes with a proviso: consider her comments constructively. If you view this kind of feedback as negative criticism and start defending yourself, you will not only lose a valuable resource, but a friend as well.
The secret is in writing in simple and plain English. What does the unionist mean when he introduces his position around the bargaining table with: “Our members have articulated a desire to engage with management on the issue of the socio-economic affordability of their livelihoods”? Well, for starters it would have been much more succinct and a damn-size clearer to say: “Our members want to talk about money”.
So how do we get there? Here are five pointers to get you on the right track:
1. Write shorter sentences
Keep sentences to between 16 and 20 words. If you tend to write long sentences, then follow your instinct with you first draft. Once completed, go back to your text with one intention only: reducing sentence length. Replace ands and buts with stops to create new, short sentences.
Remove tautology and repetition. Is the attractive, beautiful, gorgeous actress not perhaps just plain beautiful? And does the child have to “draw a round circle for Mommy” or will just “a circle” do the trick? Think and write punchy.
2. Use simple words and phrases that you know well
One of problems of writing in a second language is the risk of using words that don’t mean what the writer thinks they mean. One of my former Afrikaans-speaking bosses, in a speech during a very glamorous event, begged the leadership of our industry to “come out of the closet” when he meant to challenge them to become more active and visible in the business world. The industry shall remain anonymous.
3. Tighten the wordy phrases
Why would one want to say that John attempted the Comrades marathon on two separate occasions? Doesn’t that make it twice? “She is a person who loves cats” is an insult to the poor woman – of course she is a person! “She loves cats” would have served the purpose much punchier.
4. Give attention to sequencing and order
Good writers know how to present their facts and information in a suitable and logical order rather than taking the reader on a guessing game through a labyrinth of confusion. Relate historical stories in chronological order. Share process information in the sequence of the process flow. Discuss holiday destinations in alphabetical order or in the order in which the traveller would encounter them when travelling on a specified route.
5. Choose action verbs
Be as vivid and as descriptive as you can in your selection of verbs. When a police report states that “vehicle A was driving at a high speed when it collided first with a pedestrian and then with a brick wall” it paints a rather clinical picture of what could have been quite dramatic. Here are two alternatives using descriptive action verbs:
· The black BMW careered around the sharp bend, swerving sharply across the pavement. It hit a passer-by, flinging his body across the road like a rag doll before it smashed into a solid garden wall.
· The speeding black BMW tore around the corner before striking an elderly pedestrian, instantly killing him. It finally burst through a brick wall before it came to a standstill; steam and smoke billowing from the wreck.
6. Edit before releasing
Never release a written text on an unsuspecting audience without having checked and edited it thoroughly. Find a colleague who is also a competent writer to critically look at the text as well, but this comes with a proviso: consider her comments constructively. If you view this kind of feedback as negative criticism and start defending yourself, you will not only lose a valuable resource, but a friend as well.
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